HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Talk about things other than video games. What are your other hobbies? What's your favorite TV show? Are you into sports. Any recommended restaurants? Do you travel?
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Daniel
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Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:49 pm

Top 3 na pinakasinungaling na trabaho sa Pilipinas:

No. 3: Beautician: Sasabihin nilang maganda ang customer kahit hindi naman talaga.
No. 2: Konduktor ng jeep: Sasabihin niya na dalawa pa ang kasya kahit puno na.

And last and the most prolific of all these liars, No.1: Pulitiko. That’s the end of the story.
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Daniel
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Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:49 pm

The brain of a Filipino politician has two sides: the left has nothing right in it, the right has nothing left in it.
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Daniel
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Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:51 pm

Pick up lines

Boy: Tubig ka ba? Kasi kung hindi mo ako crush, wala kang taste.
Girl: Eh ikaw, tubig ka ba?
Boy: Bakit?
Girl: Kasi I can’t wait for you to evaporate.

—————————

Tanungin ninyo ang boyfriend o girlfriend ninyo: Ano ang pinagkaiba mo sa tubig?

Sagot: Ang tubig iniigib; ikaw, iniibig.
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Daniel
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Fri Apr 29, 2016 4:23 pm

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SirZap
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Fri Apr 29, 2016 8:19 pm

tama si Nanay... kundi tatamaan ka ...
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Daniel
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Wed Jun 01, 2016 1:06 pm

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Sn@kemaru
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Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:19 pm

^ hahaha ayos mga jokes.
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Daniel
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Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:38 am

A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to the Philippines
on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Filipino hands over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Filipino produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Pinoy replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Words of Wisdom for today: "Keep of the grass" - Anonymous
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Daniel
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Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:41 am

Dear Friends,

There will be a garage sale at my house on Sunday, November 6. It's a bit embarrassing really, but because of my family's current
situation (expenses. etc.), we are finding it a bit difficult with money at the moment. We've decided to have a sale to possibly keep our heads above water. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We are sure that we will pull out of this mess sooner or later, but in the meantime, you gotta do what you gotta do. I have attached a photo of our stuff so that you can check out anything you like.

Please let me know as soon as possible if there's anything that catches your fancy, so that I can reserve it. At any rate, hope to see you at my place on Sunday.

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Daniel
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Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:09 pm

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DarkRushBeat
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Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:49 am

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Everybody wants Happiness, Nobody wants Pain...
But you can't have a Rainbow, without a little Rain....


Wrestling/Handheld Games/Horror/Zombie Films/Paranormal/Basketball Shoes/Body Building


Gameboy/Nintendo DS/PSP/Nintendo 3DS
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grayfox17
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Sun Oct 09, 2016 8:55 am

napulot ko lang sa isang public post sa FB...

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**** ****!
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Sn@kemaru
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Sun Oct 09, 2016 7:34 pm

^ hehe ano kaya ang sumunod na reply ni Sen. Leila dyan.
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Cravex
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Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:06 am

Baka natakot kasi mamamatay din siya

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Daniel
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Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:15 pm

Joke ni Alex Calleja (standup comedian)

Alex (talking to his future father-in-law): Sir, nabuntis ko po yung anak nyo.

Father-in-law: Paano mo nabuntis ang anak ko?

Alex: Eh sir, ide-demo ko po. Medyo bastos lang po.

Father-in-law: Wag na!
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Sn@kemaru
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Wed Oct 12, 2016 7:55 pm

^ hahaha... akala ko "with the power of my imagination."
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SirZap
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Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:02 am

may isang babaeng nag-grocery.
bumili siya ng:
- dalawang karton ng low fat milk
- sampung yoghurt
- dalawang plastic ng salad
- isang bote ng lotion
- sampung roll ng tissue paper
- isang feminine wash
- isang bote ng shampoo
- tatlong deodorant
habang nagbabayad siya sa counter ay may lasing na nakapila sa likod nya at nakatingin habang nilalapag niya ang mga pinamili sa counter...
LASING: miss, single ka noh?
namangha ang babae dahil tama ang lasing.
tiningnan nya ulit lahat ng pinamili niya dahil baka may binili siyang pang-single na tao lang...
BABAE: ang galing nun ah... tama ka. paano mo nahulaan na single ako?
LASING: ang pangit mo eh
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SirZap
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Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:57 am

REPORTER: Sir, konteng Interview lang po tungkol sa mga kalabaw nyo.
LOLO: Ok.
REPORTER: San nyo po sila pinapaliguan?
LOLO: Yung Itim o yung puti?
REPORTER: yung itim.
LOLO: Ah, sa sapa.
REPORTER: Eh yung Puti?
LOLO: Sa sapa rin.
REPORTER: (tumaas ang kilay) Ah, ganun po ba. Ano pong pinapakain nyo sa mga kalabaw nyo
LOLO: yung itim o yung puti?
REPORTER: Ah, yung puti.
LOLO: Damo.
REPORTER: Eh yung itim?
LOLO: Damo din.
REPORTER: (mejo nainis) San nyo po sila pinapatulog?
LOLO: yung puti o yung itim?
REPORTER: Yung itim!
LOLO: Sa ilalim ng puno.
REPORTER: eh yung puti.
LOLO: Sa ilalim din ng puno.
REPORTER: (Nainis) teka nga, bakit mo pa tinatanong kung yung itim o yung puti, eh pareho lang naman sagot mo?!?
LOLO: ah, ganito kasi yan... yung itim sa Akin kasi yun.
REPORTER: eh yung puti?
LOLO: Sa kin din :lol:
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Sn@kemaru
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Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:57 pm

^ :lol:
share ko naman:

----

Perfume
Babae: mabango ka naman Nene eh.. ano bang perfume mo?
Bading: Passion.
Babae: Passion?
Bading: Downy Passion. Akala mo lang Perfume.. Ikaw din naman. Ang bango-bango mo! Amoy “CK” ka!
Babae: Wow! Calvin Klein? Ang sosyal naman nun..
Bading: Hindi.. “CAMOTENG KAHOY”

----------------------------

*Ipit
GF: Hatid mo ko
BF: Wala akong pera, wala pa yung allowance ko.
GF: Ayaw mo? Wala ngayong tao sa Bahay eh.
BF: Abay tingnan mo nga naman, Akalain mo, Meron pa lang nakaipit na pera sa bulsa ko.

----------------------------

*Paa
Porket tntngnan ka mula ulo hanggang paa insecure na?
hindi ba pwedeng..
kinukumpara TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION MUKHA mo sa PAA?

----------------------------

*Ngipin
LOLA: Astig ng Ngipin mo Apo, Parang Exam..
APO: Bakit po?
LOLA: One Sit Apart!
APO: Sa inyo din po lola parang exam..
LOLA: Ah eehhh, Bakit naman?
APO: Fill in the Blanks!
LOLA: HAHAHAHA!!!!


*Nakatunganga
NOON:
Pag ang Lalaki nakatunganga at may iniisip ang sinasabi ng nga Barkada: “Wag kang magalala, MAHAL ka nun.”

NGAYON:
Pag ang Lalaki nakatunganga at may iniisip ang sinasabi ng mga Barkada: “Wag kang magalala MAGKAKARON din yun baka na delay lang.”:-D

----------------------------

*Peke
Husband: surprise!
Wife: ha kwintas na naman, nung pasko kwintas regalo mo
sakin pati last christmas gusto ko naman kotse.
Husband: ah eh wala akong makitang pekeng kotse eh!:-P

----------------------------

*Secretary
Mister – babe, napromote ako sa office, pwede nako may sekretarya.
Misis: ayoko nang sexy at maganda ha, dapat humanap ka ng matanda
at mataba para maka concentrate ka sa work at lalong matuwa sayo ang boss mo!
Mister: Tama ka dyan… ikaw ang kuning kong secretary!

----------------------------

*Feeler
"Isang araw mag kasama tayo sa Sea side, Sabi mo sa akin
Saglit lang...
Umalis ka, hinintay kita.....
Dumaan ang ilang oras wala ka pa,
Napaupo ako sa tabi..
Hinihintay parin kita,
napaiyak ako sa tabi..
Hinihintay parin kita,
Napaiyak ako kasi inakala kong iniwan mo na ako,
Lumapit ka sa akinm pinunasan mo luha ko at
sinabing....

"Sorry hah, akala ko okay ka lang kahit wala ako,
di mo pala kaya???"

Sabi ko...
"ADIK kaba!!!! Nasa iyo ang pamasahi ko paano ako uuwi??
FEELER ka naman.. Akin na nga yan."

----------------------------

*Boses
Guro: Bakit ka natutulog sa gitna ng klase?
Student: Ang Sweet po ng boses mo mam kaya nakakatulog ako.
Guro: Bakit TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION iba hindi naman nakakatulog?
Student: E hindi naman sila nakikinig e! (palusot!)

----------------------------

*Kodigo
Teacher: ganyan ka na ba kabobo Juan??!
Juan: Ma'am!! seeking help is not a sign of ignorance.. It's an intellectual act that
allows people to admit that some situations are not meant to be handled alone..
It's a reality check!! Did you get my point ma'am?!?!

Teacher: Juan,, tagalog lang ang tanong ko.. hindi ka naman mabiro..
hala TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION,, ituloy mo lang yan.. wag ka TEXT SPEAK VIOLATION magpapahuli ahh..

----------------------------

*Carnapping
Juan: Gusto kita kunin lawyer sa kaso ko!
Atty: may pera ka ba?
Juan: Wala pero may car akong pwede ibayad!
Atty: Ok! Ano ba kaso mo?
Juan: CARNAPPING!

----------------------------

*Bigti
Juan: Hoy! Bakit may tali ka sa kamay mo? At nakakabit pa sa kisame?
Pedro: magbibigti ako..
Juan: ay, T@NGA! Dapat sa leeg, hindi sa kamay…
Pedro: sinubukan ko kanina, HINDI AKO MAKAHINGA!
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VincH
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Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:47 pm

Kung Pepsi ang naging sponsor ng Eat Bulaga ganito ang mangyayari:

Jose: eto na po ang mga pasalubong namin hatid sa inyo ng Pepsi!

Tito, Vic and Joey: ......
saaaandaliiiii laaaaannnggg!!!
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DarkRushBeat
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Fri Feb 17, 2017 4:32 pm

He he, sasakit tyan nyo dito

Everybody wants Happiness, Nobody wants Pain...
But you can't have a Rainbow, without a little Rain....


Wrestling/Handheld Games/Horror/Zombie Films/Paranormal/Basketball Shoes/Body Building


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Daniel
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Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:39 pm

nakakatawa pero annoying na siya sa mga inaasar nya :lol:
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grayfox17
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Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:15 pm

sana buhay pa tong dalawang to ... :rofl: :rofl:

**** ****!
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Sn@kemaru
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Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:49 pm

^ then Panchito dropped the PI bomb at the end. :lol:
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SirZap
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Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:41 pm

tinde ng imagination nila
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